[kuh–mit-muh nt] noun
1. the act of committing.
2. the state of being committed.
3. the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.
4. a pledge or promise; obligation.
5. engagement; involvement.
Is there a scarier word?
When the word “commitment” is mentioned, people get all nervous and start twitching.
Don’t be this guy.
Everyone I work with knows that I have a boyfriend. (Side note: He’s completely wonderful, if you didn’t already gather.) Apparently me not dating or flirting with anyone else automatically flashes in people’s brains that I’m engaged. Because why else would I be…shall I say it…committed. Cue gasp.
All this week at work has been interesting. I didn’t realize how forward and rude people really are. Particularly the men. I haven’t spoken to the women at work about this but I’m sure there are plenty of women at my job that have the same mindset as the men. So don’t think I’m picking only the men here. Women are equally at fault. For the sake of this post, you men are my target.
Now, I get along with everyone at work. I laugh when they act silly and say stupid things but this has been happening more frequently and it’s had me thinking about their true intentions. This one particular person, who I shall call, Al, will walk smoothly to me and ask if I’ve broken up with my boyfriend. When “no” is the reply, he’ll say he’s waiting for me with a twinkle in his eye.
First it was an “lol” moment. As if. Now it’s, “Get the heck away from me, you freak.”
“I’d convert to Catholicism just for you.” Ummmm….? I have the one guy tell me that Andrew and I look so cute together that he’ll take me off of his “Girls to Get With” list because he thinks Andrew and I will work out since we’ve been together for almost two years. Someone told me today that he’ll be Muslim so he can have two wives.
These are the petty stories that I have to rant about. The two that really sparked my frustration started when this one lead of mine, Chris, calls Andrew my fiancé. Don’t get me wrong. I love hearing Andrew being referred to as my fiancé, but he isn’t yet and I don’t want to ruin that feeling before I’m even engaged. So I do what I always do, which is to correct.
“He’s not my fiancé yet.” I say.
“Aren’t you engaged?”
“Not for a while.”
“So that means he sees other girls?”
“No.” I say in disbelief.
“Oh, you do?”
“Uhh, no.” What is he thinking? “Just because I’m not engaged doesn’t mean I’m seeing other people.”
Some other guy butts in, “She’s Catholic. She doesn’t do that. The church controls what she does.”
I throw in that I don’t date, I court.
Chris says, “I’m Catholic too. I’ve been married three times.” Sitting in church doesn’t make you a Christian, buddy. No, I didn’t say that, but I wanted to. “Why don’t you get engaged then? What’s taking so long?”
“We want a short engagement. We hear it’s harder on staying chaste and pure and would rather keep ourselves away from that position.”
I get a blank stare at this point.
Will, my other lead, asks me today why I’m not married yet.
“Because we’re waiting until he’s finished with school.”
“What does him finishing school have to do with getting married? You can’t do both?”
“Without an education, he can’t get a good full-time job. Without a good full-time job, he won’t be able to support the both of us.”
“Can’t you do what you’re doing now and get married?”
“No! I’m not going to live away from him. He lives two hours away from me!”
“So? Marriage is just a piece of paper.”
Our society has a crooked view of commitment.
I understand I’m different from the norm. I stay pure. I view marriage as a lifelong commitment. A forever-and-always commitment. When you commit yourself to a person, you are PLEDGING your whole life
to the other person. You don’t need to be married to be committed. Andrew knows without a doubt that I wouldn’t betray him. I offered him my spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental commitment. Vice versa.
1639 The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. From their covenant arises “an institution, confirmed by the divine law, . . . even in the eyes of society.” The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love.” 1640 Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God’s fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom. – Taken from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Sorry, for ranting. But once I started this, I was committed to finishing.